How far I've come

I couldn't resist snapping a picture from the train bridge

Last night I was walking back to the Quays from campus.  It was getting dark and the skies had finally decided it was time for rain.  It rained for my entire walk, and although I had an umbrella, I didn't put it up.  The rain wasn't too heavy and there wasn't much wind.  I smiled like a loon the entire time.  Walking on the train bridge I realized that I should be running like everyone else, but instead I just kept walking.  I was in England.  In the rain.  I felt like I had been waiting for my entire life.

This afternoon I was walking to campus and the wind was insane.  It was absolutely freezing, biting wind.  My hair was everywhere.  The span on the top of the train bridge was like a wind tunnel.  I was happy.

It's so hard for me to believe that I am here in England, and not just traveling after graduation or 'taking some time off,' but actually getting my Masters degree.  The fact that I am going to be here for an entire year, and the fact that I am okay with that - I can see myself here in 11 months time, completely okay (except for the stress of writing a dissertation), blows my mind.

I can still remember crying on my first day of preschool.  I remember being homesick.  Homesick while sleeping over at a friend's house in elementary school, homesick at a student council conference in high school, homesick by the gate in LAX, homesick not two weeks ago - convinced that I couldn't carry on.  Yet here I am, settling into the strange accommodation that is postgraduate living, worrying over things like cutting boards and train tickets.

For my entire life I dreamed of living some type of exciting life.  I say dreamed because I thought it was an impossibility.  I always liked being at home with my family.  I purposely chose a college that was close to home.  It took me so long to decide on a major - I wanted something that wouldn't pigeon-hole me into a life of 9 to 5's in tiny cubicles.  My semester in Australia was an amazing outlet, but I thought that's all it was.  A "Remember that crazy time in college?" story.

So I guess the reason behind this post is for me to acknowledge how far I've really come.  This is an amazing opportunity I'm living and I'm starting to believe that it is only just the beginning...

-RJ